Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
This phrase has been cropping up over and over again in my life recently. Just this morning I made a note that I wanted to write about it, either here or in my journal, and then it turned up again on Facebook. The universe is trying to tell me something and wants to be sure I notice.
I have always been shy around people I don’t know, wary of new situations or places. I have never felt comfortable in large crowds or taking risks. And I have told myself, that’s okay. That’s just who I am.
But, if I am honest, I have allowed myself to shrink away from the world over the last ten years or so and my comfort zone has shrunk with me to the point where it consists of little more than my own home.
Looking back over my life, there are many things I have done in the past which I would say I just could not do now. At age ten, I was in the school play, not only performing but also writing my own lines. Around the same time, I was in the school choir. As a young adult I travelled by coach to both London and Manchester from my home in Cornwall. When I moved to this house, I was full of ideas and plans. I decorated rooms and cleared the garden. I held birthday parties for my daughters, had friends round for coffee and went for days out with my family. I had a handful of friends who I would spend time with, go out with, laugh with. I used to create all the time, designing knitwear, writing poetry, adapting things for my home.
But somewhere along the way I lost it.
Life got to me. Circumstances dragged me down and I never surfaced. The reasons why are not important now. What is important is that I am going to swim for the surface, find the edge of my comfort zone and dare to set foot outside it.
I have said many times, oh, so many times, in the past, that I was going to turn my life around. I started this blog with the intention of documenting my journey as I do so. But it seems I needed a few more weeks to get to the point of starting out. Now, however, the universe is persistently nudging and it is time to take action.
I have, on my arm, a tattoo of lyrics from my favourite song, by my favourite band. It is there to remind me to seize life, to learn from the past, and to let go of it. It is finally time to do just that.